Normally I am a pretty calm person. Not to say I don’t get my feathers ruffled, as I certainly do (as you are about to see) but for the most part, I take things in stride.
But every once in a while it seems like I have a day or two when things just really bug me – and no, it’s not PMS and the hot flashes don’t make me cranky in this way.
Here are 10 things sure to set me off:
- Decorations that are put up more than a month before the holiday they are for. For example, my neighbor just put up his inflatable dragon for Halloween. It’s SEPTEMBER 22 people! Why? Because the 31 days of October are just not enough for that stupid nylon fire breathing thing to be flapping around right outside my bedroom window 24/7? Until he decides in November to take it down and replace it with the blow up Santa he will leave up ’til mid-January? #FFS He ought to work at Rite-Aid where they have all their Christmas crap out already.
2. People who leave their dogs out when they leave the house and the dog barks or whines the entire time they are gone. #literallyhoursonend C’mon yo! I feel bad for your poor dog who is clearly missing you…for the first hour. After that I just want to throw things at it. And you, if you’d ever come home.
3. When you do something shitty and get called out on it and then get mad at the person who called you out. No, sorry, YOU are the one who screwed up. (I’d tell you more about it, but someone is sensitive about their bad behavior.) It’s like when someone gets busted doing something wrong and THEN they are sorry. Yeah, sorry you got caught! #defensivemuch #sorrynotsorry
4. Drivers who don’t use their turn signals. #mustIsaymore? #justflipitupordown
5. When a married man cheats on his wife and she gets madder at the other woman than the man who took vows. I’m not saying don’t get mad at her too, but really, your husband is the one who broke a vow. She just broke the girl code. #vowsarestrongthancode
6. When you spend $7 on a package of raspberries and you dig in the next day and they are all moldy. I pick out what I can, but $7 for three edible raspberries is a but much. #nowonderimbroke
7. When people walk their dog off leash in the neighborhood and then get all uptight when my leashed dog lunges as their dog runs up to “just say hi”. Look, I am a big believer in the adage there is a time and place for everything. That said, your dog running loose in the neighborhood at three in the afternoon is neither the time nor the place and you better check that attitude when we are following the rules and you are not. #rulefollower #hesprotective #looksmeanlapdog
8. When a 45 year old man dates a 20-something woman. Like, can you at least limit yourself to a the most recent decade? So if you’re 65 you date as young as 50? If you’re an actor I
have the hots for admire and you date someone your daughter’s age…that kills it for me. #done #bitter #maybeiAMjealousbutsowhat #idrisimtalkingtoyou
9. Drivers who run red lights. It’s kind of become an epidemic and it pisses me off (see #7 regarding rules and the following thereof). The intersection by our high school is notorious for this to the point that I have taught my daughter to always pause a beat and look before pulling out onto the main road because more often than not asshole is racing through trying to beat the light. This practice has saved us more than once. #nolie #slowdownplease #idonthave9lives
10. When someone complains that someone treats them poorly but then offers to drive them to the airport. #hello? #theygrown #justdont #uber #lyft #airportshuttle
What never fails to trip your trigger?
Annoyed but feeling lighter,