Fearless Seekers: Are You With Me?

I have spent thousands of dollars trying to figure out what my purpose is, what my “gift” to the world could possibly be.

Is it to teach mindfulness?  Or to teach writing? 

Is it to help others learn resilience? Or to discover and follow their dreams? 

Should I package it all together and lead retreats? offer workshops? maybe an e-course? 

desert-wonder

I still don’t know. #notforlackoftrying

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve worked with some really awesome people and insightful life coaches.  It has not been a waste of time. I’ve definitely learned a lot about myself. I’ve had some major breakthroughs. I’ve even posted about it.

And yet, I am always wondering “What do I have to offer that is unique?

snowflake

The good news is, I can now say with certainty I know what my passion is. It took a while for me to get this far. #babysteps #progress #statingtheobvious

My passion is writing.

And reading.

I love to read. I love to write

I love to travel. I love to plan trips.

I love to talk to people. I love to find out what makes them tick.

How did you get to this point? How did you decide this is what you want to do with your life?

What are you passionate about? What are you going to do next?

tea-and-conversation

That’s part of why I studied psychology and counseling in graduate school. Yeah, sure, my focus was on athletes, but track and field had been my whole world up to that point. Training, competition, all that goes along with being a national class athlete. I was fascinated by the mind, even then. How your thoughts affect your performance. How what you say to yourself inside manifests outside.

Here I am, after decades of study, marriage, motherhood, exploration and experimentation I still don’t feel like I have a “story” or a “gift” and that’s frustrating to me. #ineedanepiphany

Maybe it shouldn’t be frustrating. Maybe I’ve just drunk too much of the Kool-Aid offered by all the life coaches, entrepreneur coaches, business coaches, mompreneurs, this that and the other DIYers, ProBloggers, Etsy makers and sellers, Pinterest pinners, Facebook groupers, start your own business book writers…Sometimes I think I have had so much of their Kool-Aid that my lips and fingertips are permanently stained. Do you know what I mean? #iknowsomeofyoudo

Still, I can’s shake the belief that everybody has a hidden jewel, a gift,  that they – and only they – bring to the world.

here-you-go

But What is Mine?

A few weeks ago I was sitting on a lake on a raft enjoying the view and the fresh water and the relative quiet. I didn’t have that pounding headache I’d had in my head for the past two weeks. The vein on the side of my head that throbbed and pulsed and made me think I was going to have an aneurysm had stopped pounding.

In its place was a stillness I had been missing.

I started to think maybe the answer is just keeping everything as simple as possible.

Maybe I just write.

Maybe I just write my blogs, like I’ve been doing.

Maybe I just keep it all super simple. Keep it old school, like I like it…you know, pen on paper old school.

fountain pen and journal

I like things that are simple and straightforward. #notlikethispost

I mean, if you want to sign up for my blog because you are interested in what I have to say then, sign up for my blog because you’re interested in what I have to say, not because I am offering a free worksheet or e-course or list or link or freebie or forum.

[Note: I am not saying they are bad – I support all of the above – I’m just saying they are not my thing. I like that they are yours. I appreciate them. And you.]

Better yet, maybe someday I’ll write a book and you can pick up my book! #nottheebook #paperback #hardback #dogeared

Maybe my old school ways will come back into fashion the way turntables and vinyl have.

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Maybe my fellow “I’m just gonna write and I’m just gonna read and I’m gonna write about what I read and what I think” friends will be drawn to me like moths to a flame.

Maybe I’ll find my people that way.

Maybe we will find each other without really knowing how it happened.

I’ll be that one crazily blinking firefly in a vast a meadow of fireflies and we will be drawn to each other because I’m the one with the crooked antenna and you have a crooked antenna too and you’re drawn to me the way I’m drawn to you.

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Hey, it could happen.

Blinking Crazily,

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3 thoughts on “Fearless Seekers: Are You With Me?

  1. This resonated with me so much. Thank you for sharing. I’m currently in the middle of something like this myself and your point of view has totally given me a lot to think about! Thank you!!!!!! 🙂

    Like

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