Lord, Hear My Prayer

When I was in high school
the Stanford track coach
told my father I was
10 pounds away from being
the best sprinter in the state.

Lord, hear my prayer.

In college we had our body fat
percentage measured and even though
my coach was surprised at how low mine was
it was still over my goal of 15%.

Lord, hear my prayer.

My college boyfriend told me
that for someone so smart
I did a lot of stupid things.

Lord, hear my prayer.

When I was preparing to leave my job
as a personal trainer to go to
graduate school and was sharing
my dream of eventually getting my PhD
at Harvard another trainer’s client
looked at me and asked,
“Are you smart enough?”

Lord, hear my prayer.

A man I greatly admired laughed and said,
“Don’t we all!”
when I said I wanted to live in the country
and be a writer.

Lord, hear my prayer.

Even when I got second at Nationals
and was a three time All American
my father still called me a
“fair to middlin’ hurdler.”

Lord, hear my prayer.

When I was talking
to my then husband
about my plan to lose 10 pounds he said,
“Why not make it 20?”

Lord, hear my prayer.

Who were these men to shroud me
in self-doubt and make me question
what I knew then, but don’t know now?

Lord, hear my prayer.

Why didn’t I ever hear
You are perfect, just the way you are.
You can do whatever you set your mind to.

Lord, hear my prayer.

These are the messages
I pass on to my students
the boys and the girls.

Lord, hear my prayer.

These are the messages
I give my children
my son and my daughter.

Lord, hear my prayer.

These are the messages
I pray to hear
but the wall is so thick
the mirror so distorted
the disbelief so engrained
today
it is all I can do to plead

Lord, hear my prayer.

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