November First

Hello Dear Reader,

Ahhh, it has been so long. Over 6 weeks?!? Can it be true? I see in my last post (yes, it has been so long I wasn’t really sure what I last wrote of) I wrote about recalibrating. Ha! What is the line about the universe (God?) laughing at those who make plans? Somebody was laughing, I am sure, but it wasn’t me.

October was a brutal month. I just started to breathe again (by choice – there is always a choice, but more on that later) the last week or two. Obviously I was optimistic mid-September. But then things got hectic and a little overwhelming. There was the one month mark of my mom’s death and then her memorial and then the week after the union put on a benefit for her. All wonderful things, with friends and family and all that, but difficult and emotional. The morning after my mom’s memorial I looked like I had an allergic reaction to something – my eyes were so puffy and swollen and red.

And then there was the regular life stuff – school/work (the honeymoon ended), hubby was out of town for a week plus, friends were in town helping in unimagineable ways and to deeper depths than I have ever known. So wonderfully amazing and yet, overwhelming too, to be held up like that. And there is more, but you are alive too, so you know how life gets, piles appear, dirt accumulates, lists grow longer and longer and unexpected things happen and feelings emerge and, and, and … need I tell you? No, you know enough.

So I had to decide to stop the deluge. Did my psychic “end the rain” dance and stood up to the tide. Grounded my feet as best I could and said to the whirling world, “Enough is enough.” Guess what? It worked.

So back to the recalibration thing. I am back on vinegar and vanilla – knowing even more the sour of life and the sweet. How necessary both are, and how pungent and fragrant.

I am also back on the yoga mat and the meditation cushion and I am off the TV (now that my guilty pleasures are done for the season I can more easily wean myself from the idiot box time suck machine) and I am also, because I am more than a little bit nuts, signed up for the National Novel Writing Month challenge. 50,000 words by the end of the month and presto! chango! you have the first draft of your novel!

What this means is: I will be here, but my posts will be shorter. Or maybe not, maybe I’ll be so juicy from all the writing it will spill over here like an overfilled cup of coffee on its way from the kitchen to your favorite fireside chair on a rainy blustery sunday morning…

Write On,
Jess

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2 thoughts on “November First

  1. Sally says:

    Such wrenching progress and prose… Thank you for your authenticity and the reminder that so much is just that, a choice.

    On that note, I'm choosing not think of you as crazy for committing yourself so heartily to writing in November. Not crazy, simply inspired!

    Now I’m off to see what choices I will make for myself in the days to come…

  2. jessica says:

    Thank you for posting a comment – I feel loved! And I got my 1,667 words done for the day. Just have to keep the faith and the pace for 29 more days! Hey, if the Giants can win the World Series, I can write 1667 words each day, riiiight?

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