System Reboot

Dear Reader, 
 I am in a personal purgatory between abject apathy and total motivation. My system is not responding. I need a total system reboot.

Not sure how to make that happen. Been pushing buttons all day long and none of them are quite doing the trick.

You know how when you push the hard reset button it takes  a little while for the system to start up again? It just sits there for a minute (hmmm…do you really want me to start up again? don’t you need to go pee or grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine first?) and then, one little program by one little program it begins to come back to life. Always in the same order. Very precise. Very deliberate. Following restart protocol everytime.

Baby steps in the computer world y’all. Means I need to take baby steps on Planet Jessica too.

Baby step #1:When in doubt, make a plan.

I love to have plans – just so I  can not stick to them. Makes me feel better somehow. So here’s the plan for the next 30 days+:

  • This week (3/8)
    • Complete The Artist’s Way Week 9 “Recovering a Sense of Compassion
    • Begin Poetry Revision workshop with Amber Sumrall. 
      • workshopping 2 poems a week! 
  •  Week of 3/15
    • TAW Week 10 “Recovering a Sense of Self-Protection” 
    • Session 2 Poetry Revision Workshop
    • Listen to Lisa Allen Ortiz read at Poetry Speak  2pm, Sunday March 21st at the Santa Cruz Public Library
  • Week of 3/22
    • TAW Week 11 “Recovering a Sense of Autonomy” 
    • Have a date with an artist friend (Amy , are you reading this??) 
  • Week of 3/29 
    • TAW Week 12 “Recovering a Sense of Faith
    • Celebrate completing The Artist’s Way in a splendid and worthy fashion! 
      • find that special writing table perhaps? a new hot pink journal? a new fancy pen? Throw myself an  “I AM a Writer Damnit” party? 
    • Come up with a new mission and tag-line for the blog, since it will now be about something else – my life as a recovered creative and a writer working on a project!
  • Week of 4/5 
    • Spring Break from the day job! Try not to gloat. 
    • Spend at least one very late wine fueled night looking through all my half-finished, just barely started stories and poems and decide which ones I want to go back to. 
    • Begin working on “The Project” in earnest, with intention and dedication and commitment.
      • make edits, add new stuff, print out new working copy…Get Busy!
This, Dear Reader, be my 30-day plan. 

What do you think? 

Feelin’ better already, 
j

PS: write on!
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2 thoughts on “System Reboot

  1. michelle says:

    Jessica..thank goodness that you are a writer that can put into words EXACTLY how I have been feeling. I need to make a plan too. I need to put “have coffee with Jessica” on it!

  2. Carola says:

    I like it Jess…now to the discipline of following along your “self-inflicted” path : ) …I think you can do it, though. Just think of it as a gift you are giving yourself everyday for the next 30 days…and then let yourself accept the gift.

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